just one more time...

There is Christmas music playing softly in the background, Momma has just returned from grocery shopping and is putting away her 18 lb. turkey that she is very concerned about fixing for Thanksgiving, Madeline is washing dishes,  some of the children are watching an old western and me....well, I just cut out a pair of pajama pants for a certain little brother's Christmas present.  The pattern I'm using belonged to my grandma and she has used it numerous times for her grandboys that she loved so dearly.  When I use some of her old sewing things I can't help but let my mind drift back over the years that I sat at her feet watching her bent over her old Singer machine. 
With the holidays so close, I was thinking about all the sewing projects she would be whipping out, hoping to be finished by Christmas. I smile just thinking about how frazzled she would get at times.  She was such a perfectionist, and I don't think she ever really realized how truly gifted she was.  I honestly have yet to find a seamstress that can top her work. 

This will be our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without Grandma.  Oh how I would give anything just to sit around her dinning room table one more time and hold her hand while Grandpa blessed the meal. I want to hear her holler at me to get a spoon for the gravy and have to pull that horrid silverware drawer out, you know the kind that gets stuck when you have pulled it halfway out. (smiles)
Just one more time I want to sit on her bed and listen to her and my mom reminisce.  I want to have one more spend-the-night with her and all my girl cousins.  You wouldn't believe how many of us girls she would allow into her bed at one time!
I would love to have the whole family piled into her and grandpa's living room and sing together.  Grandpa would often play on his guitar and we would all sing like we were truly talented. Funny thing is, Grandma always thought we were amazing. ;)

So many times I have wanted to call her to ask her a question about a family recipe, a quilting/sewing project, or if I should try a new hair style I found.  She was my go-to gal for nearly everything and I miss getting her input on things. 

Grandma was out-going and had a passion and love for life.  You couldn't help but have a fantastic time whenever you were with her.  It didn't matter if it was a holiday or simply spontaneously deciding to run to Walmart at 11:30 at night, everything she did was a party!  Grandma never got impatient with my crazy vivacious personality.  She was such a worry wart and I loved to "pull her leg" whenever I had the chance to.   I told her things like that I was going to jump out of an airplane for my birthday or go to a liberal college in California....;) As my story grew and grew she finally would get exasperated and tell me that my brain wasn't fully developed yet, or she would holler for my mother.

Saying that I miss her is such an understatement.

I want to tell her that I love her...just one more time.