Good-bye My Friend

Dear Readers,

Every person in the world has a special memory tucked away in some special place in their heart. Those memories are the ones that changed your life forever. When you replay those events in your mind they may bring a smile to your face or tears to your eyes. But nevertheless those events shaped you into the person you are today, and the memory of them is still alive in your heart as though it happened only yesterday.

My horrible but special memory did in fact only happen yesterday when my father woke me up at 5:30 am. He whispered to me that the neighbors had just called and said that Scout was out and they thought he had a hurt leg.

I flew out of bed, into my barn clothes, and out the door. When I got over to my neighbors, Scout was standing under some trees with his right front leg propped up. His leg was swollen and continued to swell as the morning went on. My dad left me with Scout and headed back to the house to talk to my mom. I remained with him because we knew the vet didn't open until 8:00.

A friend down the street from us (who is a trainer) came down to give us his opinion of the injury. I'll never forget the look on his face as long as I live. Though I knew he thought it was bad I just held on to the fact that it was probably something that could be fixed. Mr. Wes went home to his house and brought a trailer so we could take him to the vet to get x-rays.

When he returned with the trailer I had Scout in his pretty halter and lead rope. If his leg had to look bad he could at least have his pretty halter and lead rope.:) Mr. Wes tried getting him up in the trailer but to no avail. He then had me try leading him. I have never really liked loading horses on trailers but especially when the horse looked at me liked he did with eyes full of pain. I guess you could call me a weeny mom but I just flat out couldn't do it. My dad then took the lead rope from me and Mr. Wes told me to walk over to the other side of the trailer. I was just about to walk away when I heard my dad and Mr. Wes groan and yell. I swung around and saw my horse rear up and flip over and his leg swinging. It was then that something inside of me fell down to my feet. My horses leg was broken. I was truly fighting the cold hard truth all morning but I realized then I was simply lying to myself.

I was determined to keep from crying but it was useless. I started running and my tears started flowing. I ran all the way back to my house and busted in the door and told my mom through rivers of tears that Scout would not be going to the vet, the vet would have to come here.

I walked around the house numb and completely out of it. I just kept seeing Scout flipping over.

My dad called my mom from his cell phone and said the vets were on their way. My mom came to me and asked me if I wanted to tell Scout goodbye.

Part of me never wanted to see my beautiful friend in this kind of state but my heart screamed yes telling me that Scout would need me. I walked towards the door and slipped my knife into my pocket. When I got back over to my neighbor's house, I walked right to my beloved friend. I pulled out my knife and gathered a handful of his long fiery mane and cut it. My heart and spirit were breaking as I saw him fighting the pain.

I knew the vets would be their soon so I went to the back of our neighbors yard where Scout had limped over to and told him I loved him. I thanked him for being my friend and for teaching me things that no one else could. I also told him that his former owners would have been there if they could have. If he had ever understood me he did yesterday.

As soon as I had said everything I wanted to say the vets drove up. I knew I was giving him his last kiss and his last hug, and I think he knew it too for he hugged me back by squeezing me with his neck.

The vets felt his leg and shook their heads. They went to their truck and grabbed that dreadful shot. I handed over my beautiful horse and watched my dreams shatter as they led him away.

I turned and left for I had said goodbye and had done all I as his friend could do. I gave him back to God. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the full effect of the shot. The life and the fire swiftly left my horse. Goodbye my beloved friend.

As I sat in my room I thought back to when I got Scout. The excitement of winning him in a 4-H essay contest, Praying every day that I would win him , the phone call confirming that he was mine, seeing him for the first time, bringing him to my house, cantering him through the cotton fields, I could go on and on.

I was thinking of all my goals I had for my horse who was still so young. This was my first show horse. Why in the world did this have to happen?! But, as a Christian I know that God saw the big picture when I just saw what I wanted. Instead of just thinking about all the things I still wanted to do with him I remembered what Scout had taught me . I had Scout for just over a year, and if I had not had him I would not have experienced the awesomeness of my God nor the power of prayer. I prayed the impossible for some people but my God showed me that nothing is impossible with Him. I still have lots to learn about faith, but I now know what it means to have the faith of a little child.

I went bike riding last night and the sun was setting. The sky looked like it had opened up and was shining right through my sadness. God was smiling and showing me His majesty.

I love you Scout and I will never forget you!


"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21